WTF G-Spot Orgasms

27thApr. × ’12

In science there is a constant debate over whether or not the G-spot orgasm actually exists. Think of it as a vaginal witch-hunt. I know, science can send a particle faster than the speed of light  but they can’t confirm my orgasm.

Well…my maybe-orgasm. I think I’ve had a g-spot orgasm. Maybe. I’m not really sure, even as it is happening. And I hear this from my friends too: G-spot orgasms don’t feel like clitoral orgasms. They are different, or something.

But somewhere along the way I got the message that this is how I should be getting off. (Thanks science?) Partly, this message– and the research backing it–  has a very hetero seeming PiV-obsessed agenda (Jesus <3  penis-sex.) But there is also a glossy magazine sex-positive liberalism here too. (The Beverly Whipple school.) And either way, it isn’t helping.

Being in my late teens and identifying as sex positive, I started to feel like being truly liberated meant getting off in every way imaginable, but especially the g-spot way. I also felt like I should be exploring anal sex and viewing porn competitively, as though I was training for the jack-off Olympics. I had fabricated some super sex version of myself—- a manic pixie haired  feminist whose imaginary sex positive life I had to live up to.

So, I obsessively read articles on the g-spot (a come hither motion with the fingers, ooh lala)  (a small walnut?? what?) I even watched a film about squirting, hoping to discover my maniac pixie-cum potion. “See, like that, feel that?” A sex partner might say, who was trying to help me out.“Yeah…” my voice would be unsure, I’d probably be frowning, “I kinda feel like I have to pee”.

I thought, if I were really that sex possie pixie haired girl, I would have probably relaxed into the pee feeling. Who cares if she actually pees! Her queefs are cute and hilarious!

But because I am an actual human, my sex life looked like me being in my head feeling feelings and thinking things like: “I am totally not going to orgasm until like the fifth time we have sex..”

But then randomly, during penetration… holy shit was that my g-spot he was hitting? It built to a sort of plateau then came back down. I moaned, it  felt good but I was confused. “Did you just have an orgasm” he asked? “Yes? I think so?” Was this it? Or was I faking it without even realizing it? It happened a few more times, this maybe orgasm. But now I was in my head so much that they stopped happening at all.

My friend Faith may be that maniac sex positive dream girl. (I mean that in the best way.) She throws kissing parties and hosts masked bang-gangs. On her Facebook profile photo she wears heart shaped pasties and a lace mask. I instant message her and ask what she thinks about my maybe go-spot orgasms: “You feel the build up and it feels good, why would you second guess that? It can be hard to let go emotionally, and even physically, but if you push through a you can exhaust yourself to immobility and complete wetness.”

Why second guess myself? Well… isn’t that what this science and the media coverage is making me do? As much as I like science about sexuality and our bodies, the whole thing feels like rumination. It also points out how little women are made to feel at ease their bodies, if there were such doubt cast over the clitoral orgasm, would I would wonder if that was real too?

So much of sex is not logical. Sex is whatever you feel and what you make it. It is weird and dreamy and in your head. And when I’ve been able to have them, I have enjoyed the maybe-maybe-not orgasms. Whatever they are, they are real to me. So I guess that is what matters. Probably?

What are your experiences with g-spot orgasms? Have you had a maybe-one? Does it matter?

 

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29 Comments

  1. Posted 2012-04-27 at 12:26 | Permalink

    think i have ‘almost orgasms’ frequently during penetrative sex, not sure if they’re related to the g-spot. when g-spot things seem to be happening to me i experience something similar to what you’re describing, like, it plateaus for a long time and then sometimes aches when it doesn’t go all the way. think the best orgasms i’ve had have been because the person was doing things to my g-spot and clit at the same time. also seems hard for me to get out of my head during sex.

    also yeah, ‘small walnut,’ what the hell…

    i liked reading this post

  2. Posted 2012-04-27 at 12:40 | Permalink

    For the record: I HAVE NEVER FELT THAT WALNUT THING!!!! All the magazines/videos make it ound like that is the easiest part, too. Serious what the hell! I totally relate to what you are saying about it plateau-ing/aching. It is weird, also this is not how I experience clitoral orgasms. Those sort of ache/feel uncomfortable then good.

    I seriously can’t get out of my head during sex and sometimes it weirds me out. Recently, I started making a list of random things that come into my mind while I am having sex. So far it includes this peach Barbie prom dress (like for Barbie to wear) that I loved as a kid, and the magnets that were on my babysitter’s refrigerator at age 5. Yeah, no idea what this says.

    Also, thanks! :D

  3. Emily
    Posted 2012-04-27 at 20:46 | Permalink

    Never g-spot orgasm’d. Also probably never (maybe?) orgasm’d at all. Still have quite a fulfilling sex life. Don’t see how it matters. Trying to pursue it seems too much effort when I can just have fun and enjoy exploring my body and its reactions to fun things, like men. Yanno? Hrm.

  4. Tash
    Posted 2012-04-28 at 02:59 | Permalink

    All the time! I am also a major squirter… I have just always been like that and can’t imagine it any other way. I should count myself lucky I guess, especially since my fiancee loves it!

  5. Tatiana
    Posted 2012-04-28 at 09:54 | Permalink

    Hm. I’ve searched for my own g-spot and couldn’t really find it. Or I thought I did and wasn’t sure. Sometimes I think it’s another one of those things created to make the female orgasm seem more mysterious and that women have all these built-in pleasure receptors or something. Like, it’s a giant sex myth really. Like that annoying percentage that says an overwhelming majority of women can’t or don’t experience penetrative orgasms – even though I’ve been having them since I’ve been masturbating. I didn’t even really figure out the clitoris until I was much older, and that’s certainly a different type of orgasm to be sure.

    So, even if the g-spot did exist – I would chalk it up to an anatomical anomaly; some women might have it, others don’t. I have a vibrator that’s supposed to stimulate the g-spot, but I’m not sure if it does. But it definitely feels nice! Heh – and I guess that’s all that matters.

  6. Posted 2012-04-28 at 20:30 | Permalink

    Rabbit, I TOTALLY understand what you’re saying in this post. I, too, feel pressured to have G-spot orgasms, even by sex-positive people. It seems almost like a prerequisite for being really part of those circles. It can be frustrating.

    I’ve definitely felt G-spot joy during sex, and occasionally during masturbation (I’m gonna get my hands on a Pure Wand sometime this year so I can explore further), but it’s never felt like it’s approaching an orgasm. It’s just a different kind of pleasure altogether. I try not to psych myself out about it, but it’s hard sometimes.

  7. Posted 2012-04-29 at 03:26 | Permalink

    So glad I read this today. I was feeling bummed out about never having a *true* gspot orgasm last night. I had to explain to my boyfriend that I’m not unusual for not cumming from penetration. Then I broke his poor little heart by telling him that most of his exes have faked it (18-24 yr old girls? Yeah, probably).

    I have had vaginal orgasms a couple of times… sortof. Once was coincidentally the first time I had multiple orgasms. I masturbated my clit, then penetrated myself with my fingers and came again. It definitely wasn’t nearly as intense, but very enjoyable. The second time happened recently when masturbating vaginally with a vibrator. It just felt like a deep clitoral orgasm. Very nice, but did require a bit of clitoral stimulation also.

    I know that “need to pee” feeling you speak of. That wasn’t what I felt when I came vaginally. I had that face-flushing, full on contracting followed by a wave of relaxation that nearly knocked me out, like my usual orgasms. If I “keep going” with that need to pee feeling, I eventually will pee. I don’t feel any relief other than the evacuation of my bladder.

    Based on the first comment, a confession from a good 26 yr old friend that she only recently had her first orgasm, another self-admitted non-cumming friend, and similar stories I hear again and again, i’d say as long as you feel pleasure, go with it. Don’t pressure yourself to cum the way you THINK you’re supposed to. And please, don’t fake it. It will just ensure that the guy wil never learn, and make every girl he sleeps with feel bad about herself (including you).

  8. Posted 2012-04-29 at 16:08 | Permalink

    I think I had one once… I certainly had an extremely intense moment (in fact several moments) that felt like the building of an orgasm just with the crest. I count it as an orgasm.

    I remember listening to the Savage Lovecast and some scientist saying that all orgasms are clitoral, even if they’re stimulated from the g-spot. Could that be the case? Perhaps some people have full-on g-spot orgasms because the nerves of their clit cover a larger area? But if that’s true, I’m still counting my maybe-g-spot orgasm as one too. Because it felt fucking good.

    Conversely, I feel like there is far too much importance placed on orgasms in general. I’ve had fantastic non-orgasmic sex. Just saying.

  9. Posted 2012-04-30 at 11:44 | Permalink

    Emily, Oooh food for thought. I feel like one could probably have a fulfilling sex life without orgasms if they don’t like them or can’t have them, etc. which is interesting because that is definitely not a message we see in the media/or in sex positivity! Though, if one is having a sex without orgasms because they haven’t explored them//their body…I still feel less inclined to jump on board with saying that is healthy//great. I am curious more about your experiences though…

    Tash, you are totally lucky! I wonder how many women actually squirt. Once when I was having one of those maybe-maybe not orgasms I maybe (maybe not) did? Ugh, why is this all so frustrating?

    Tatiana, well that is what the andrea burri twin study seemed to show, that some women have a g-spot, some don’t although that study had a sample size of two or something– really bad. Also interesting about not being able to figure out your body, I feel like I was the same way. I actually had a first orgasm come from a BF but I had tried on my own… I just didn’t get it. Obviously this is about poor sex ed, but what do you make from that?

  10. Posted 2012-04-30 at 11:48 | Permalink

    Girly Juice, totally key to remember it can be about a different kind of pleasure. I like the idea of thinking of orgasms differently altogether– after my erotic hypnotism experience and having an orgasm in the palm of my head I think…why can’t we count all kinds of things as orgasms if they feel to us like orgasms? Am I going over the edge with that one?

    Heathonist, On the not faking it note– I feel like it is a good idea to not fake orgasms but I am totally not anti faking them. I feel like there might be plenty of situations where it might makes sense to fake an orgasm. Say, during a one night stand when other forms of communication that you are ready to quit won’t work, or say when you are a sex worker. Hmmm. when else?

    Harper, Yeah totally that is sort of the go-to idea on that one. I pasted in the linked Jezebel article: “French gynecologist Odile Buisson argues in her Journal of Sexual Medicine essay that the front wall of the vagina is inextricably linked with the internal parts of the clitoris; stimulating the vagina without activating the clitoris may be next to impossible. Thus, ‘vaginal’ orgasms could be clitoral orgasms by another name.”

    I dunno, the orgasm still feels so different to me? Sure that could just be what I expect/the different way of experiencing them….but they do FEEL different, no?

  11. Posted 2012-04-30 at 13:14 | Permalink

    G-spot or not, I definitely experience world-rocking orgasms when someone does the “come hither” motions in my vag.

  12. JWest
    Posted 2012-04-30 at 15:01 | Permalink

    As a male I’d like say I think men can have different types of orgasms as well and that men and women while different are not that different (we do after all start out with essentially the same tissues before they begin to differentiate). I find that if I focus on fantasy and touching areas of my body other than my penis I can reach a very aroused state that leads to heart pounding, pulse racing, skin flushing and a bit of body wide contraction but not the intense pelvic contractions and release of (what I am going to call) a penile orgasm. This is similar to prostate stimulation which also gives this aroused feeling as well as an I have to pee feeling. I believe some scientist has suggested the g-spot might be related to prostate tissue? This makes sense to me in regards to the effect stimulation of this tissue seems to cause in men and women, that it causes a different kind of arousal (and orgasm?) than penile/clitoral stimulation. And of course everyone is different and it’s hard to study something as personal and subjective as a sexual experience so I’m really just trying to add to the discussion with some thoughts and my experience.

  13. Katrina
    Posted 2012-04-30 at 15:14 | Permalink

    Like a previous poster, I’ve always been a squirter. It freaked me out when I first started exploring myself as an adolescent. Some come with G-spot orgasms, but the first one or two definitely don’t. So the two are definitely linked. Most times they just take so much more effort than a clitoral orgasm so only the lovers who are squirt-fascinated have been able to give me one.

  14. Allison
    Posted 2012-04-30 at 16:20 | Permalink

    I recently read an article about the g-spot and it claimed that the g-spot doesn’t really exist, there are clitoral orgasms and mental orgasms, like what you experienced with your erotic hypnosis. But I think it’s possible to orgasm not necessarily from penetration but during penetration just because you’re so turned on and also I guess the internal clitoris could be stimulated at the same time too? But I have never felt much sensitivity at all from penetration and I know I’ve never felt any kind of walnut or something like that. I wish I could find that article again! It was so enlightening! It talked about the g-spot as being a myth sort of made up or emphasized by male doctors and freudians in order to keep women submissive and constantly worrying about their “frigidity” and inability to have orgasm and also to promote “real” sex (penis in vagina only). So yeah, I don’t know, that’d be really helpful to have the link to that article, this post really reminded me of it. Maybe someone else knows what one I’m talking about. I’ll keep looking for it though.

  15. Allison
    Posted 2012-04-30 at 16:27 | Permalink
  16. Johanna
    Posted 2012-05-1 at 01:00 | Permalink

    I have them all the time, my boyfriend (unbeknownst to me) read like 20 articles on it, then one day lay me down on the bed and coached me through the whole experience. It was so pleasurable it almost felt like pain. Maybe it’s because no one ever told me that G-spot orgasms weren’t possible? I just assumed it was a natural progression from clitoral orgasms (and for me it is definitely a progression). To find that so many people view it as a myth is kind of stunning, it’s like finding out that the majority of the population believe chocolate is a myth when you’ve been chowing down every other night…

  17. Posted 2012-05-1 at 11:58 | Permalink

    RachelK– With you! there is definitely a certain spot in the (or at least in my) vagina that when stimulated brings all kinds of warm, semi-uncomfortable//but also yummy feelings. For sure. Is that enough, science??

    JWest, That seems right to me, and I like that you are getting all science-y here but I like the idea of emotional or psychological orgasms too. If you can summon the feeling of an orgasm or feel one in your leg or in your hand or feel a slight orgasm, can’t that be an orgasm too? Really, I am shocked this topic hasn’t been more tackled in the sex positive dialog!

    Katrina, I am curious how it happens, do you feel it coming on or is it controlled at all?

    Allison, argh. These studies & papers are so frustrating! So from what I learned writing the (linked above) Jezebel article, it seems that so much of this is political. There is the camp that wants to prove that the g-spot exists because they are pro penis in vagina sex, very hetero-normative. Then there is the Beverly Whipple Cosmo Mag sex positive camp that wants to prove that hey exist. Then there is the progressive sex pos?? Andrea Burri camp that thinks there is so much pressure for women to orgasm certain ways that this needs to be disproved. Of course I’ve made this very black & white but nevertheless it is a mess!

    Johanna, totally feel you on ‘it feels painful and pleasurable’. For me, even clitoral orgasms can feel this way– it gets very intense and almost uncomfortable before it becomes pleasurable. One of my friends even said she didn’t think she liked it, after the first time she had an orgasm. But I’ve asked my male partner before if he experiences that uncomfortable feeling…and he said not at all. Curious if other men do!

  18. Shrus
    Posted 2012-05-1 at 13:13 | Permalink

    Lovely post! I still identify with that sex positive manic pixie and constantly read up about masturbation and how to squirt and things.

    After a lot of meticulous searching, I have found the elusive ‘walnut’ *hint: it may not be where the magazines tell you it is* and it works. But generally, the feeling is the same, that build-up, the plateau, the dull ache, power through and repeat.

    And regarding faking it without realising it: I sometimes feel like that’s happened to me. But I still enjoy it, orgasm isn’t the point of sex, it’s the journey, the feelings that it brings out in you. Or maybe (because I’m multi-orgasmic), I recover quickly and forget what it even felt like. But sometimes (due to various reasons), that post-orgasmic glow lingers! Whatever it is, I enjoyed myself at the time and that’s all that is important. As long as you are enjoying yourself, better still, losing yourself in y0ur pleasure, then why bother with the analysis?
    Experiment all you want but science can’t answer our personal bodily questions.

  19. Kayla
    Posted 2012-05-3 at 13:27 | Permalink

    I know I’m late to the convo, but just wanted to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for posting this!!! I have what I think are g-spot maybe-orgasms, too. It’s not a sudden, distinct rush with a beginning and an end like a clitoral orgasm is for me, it’s definitely more of a building clench-y feeling deep inside. But like Shrus said, if it is my g-spot, it’s definitely not in the place the magazines say – it’s much deeper up in my vagina. The current BF has a rather large penis and I nearly always come this way when we’re in positions where the penetration is deep and intense, like doggy-style.

    Incidentally, I’ve actually never been able to come from clitoral stimulation with a partner – my clit seems to be extremely particular about EXACTLY the right kind of stimulation at EXACTLY the right time, and it’s sometimes even tricky for me to pull off myself, let alone communicate it effectively to a partner. Even rubbing my own clit while being penetrated does nothing for me; it just feels mildly annoying.

    I’d always heard that g-spot orgasms were made up and/or designed to repress women by reducing the importance of the almighty clit, so for the longest time I felt like a failure as a sex-positive lady, not able to have “real” orgasms with a partner, not able to communicate effectively enough for them to make me come clitorally. Was I unintentionally faking by allowing my sex partners to believe I had come during penetration, even though it wasn’t a clitoral orgasm? It’s still extremely pleasurable and I certainly feet satisfied afterward, but I still had doubts.

    But now I feel so much better after reading this post and all the comments – so nice to know I’m not alone! No more guilt for me, or pressure to have a certain type of orgasm or even label my sexual experiences at all. Who cares if it’s technically an orgasm or technically the g-spot or whatever? I’m happy and satisfied, my partner’s happy and satisfied, and now I really feel confident that’s all that matters.

  20. Posted 2012-05-3 at 18:13 | Permalink

    this is, hands down, the best take on g-spots that i have ever read. ever. my experience, to a Tee. THANK YOU!!!! i think now, i’m going to just lay back and try to enjoy…

  21. Emily
    Posted 2012-05-5 at 15:34 | Permalink

    haha, I have definitely explored my body in multiple combinations of ways (g-spot, clitoral, with partners (multiple), alone, with and without toys, one night stands, on-going relationships…) and have never definitively had an orgasm. I’ve had thatcouldhavebeenanorgasmmaybebutletskeepgoingbecauseeitherwaythatfeltgood moments but never something where I was sure it was an orgasm. This doesn’t mean that I’m pining for orgasms or feel like my sex life is a waste or a joke, quite the opposite. It takes a lot of pressure off of my fuck buddies and I: we just pursue pleasure, whether or not orgasm is at the end of it doesn’t make everything that came before less fun… Prioritizing a single moment just because it felt “more good” seems silly to me if everything else around was good too….

    Maybe I just say that because I haven’t orgasmed? Not sure, really, and kind of don’t care.

  22. Katrina
    Posted 2012-05-6 at 21:15 | Permalink

    Rabbit- It just sort of happens! It only comes (haha!) after a buildup. It happens after already experiencing a clitoral orgasm, so it helps to have all your muscles relaxed. When I first experienced one, it felt like I had to pee in the middle of the normal orgasm buildup. If you tense up your muscles fearing you might actually pee, you won’t end up squirting. I recommend taking this experiment to the bath to ease any I-might-pee fears!

    I didn’t realize that there was a strategy to it until I read guides on it that reinforced the methods I had been using all along. This video has produced good results, actually:
    http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=212403928

  23. Liza
    Posted 2012-05-11 at 12:48 | Permalink

    It’s so funny how vaginal orgasms are tricky. You describe the feeling so accurately!
    Unlike clitoral ones where there is a definite begging, middle and end (sometimes overly sensitive and painful), in the case of the g-spot it’s so different. There is a build up, but if the stimulation doesn’t stop, it’s just a constant wave of pleasure…I decided to call it orgasms. So far I am satisfied, and so are my partners.

    I have the feeling that squirting might emulate more that begging, middle, end patter of a clitoral orgasm, but having never achieved it, I’ll continue exploring.

    At the end of the day, I think it really shouldn’t matter what a g-spot orgasm is/isn’t. If it feels good for you go for whatever makes you happy.

  24. Gabriella
    Posted 2012-05-11 at 22:52 | Permalink

    Honestly I’m not sure. I probably had maybe one?
    I remember my first experience with them, I was with my ex at the time and I really felt like I had to pee so I told him to pull out and he was really concerned but I replied to his worry face with, “No I’m fine I just REALLY have to pee.” Needless to say he wasn’t amused, it happened a few times. When it came up in a conversation with a co-worker she said that’s how it was supposed to feel like and that it would make orgasms so much better and she would actually avoid peeing before sex if she knew it was going to happen. I thought that was strange but I get that the having to pee feeling is normal and now if I have that feeling I know I won’t pee/squirt? (I’m still confused on that matter are you squirting pee or…?) everywhere if I don’t want to.
    My current bf stops sometimes cause he has to pee is that just cause he has to pee or is that him feeling like he’s going to orgasm? It’s probably the former but I’m not sure, I’m sort of ignorant on the subject of how a guy feels when he’s going to orgasm all I know is that there’s a point of no return.

  25. Ryan
    Posted 2012-05-13 at 13:47 | Permalink

    Hey girls, for the past two years I’ve been making an effort to really understand the woman I sleep and the best sex I’ve had has been when I make her feel really at ease and comfortable with me, obviously, this also means taking of the pressure of the “end” goal. I just tell my girl to relax and massage her first, that really helps, I enjoy reading this blog because it teaches me how you feel, so thanks for being so honest, I’m listening.

    But here’s my question? Do you feel that the mysterious g-spot orgasm is more of psychological feeling or a physical, are you able to orgasm physically or mentally or both? What are your thoughts?

    p.s. Thanks for the video Katrina

  26. Katrina
    Posted 2012-05-13 at 23:07 | Permalink

    It’s definitely a physical thing too. Like every orgasm, there is an awesome mental portion to it, but you can’t argue with the physical reaction of a squirting orgasm. This is why I don’t understand the scientific studies that claim that it’s solely a psychological reaction. It’s just as physical as a clitoral orgasm. It’s just a different kind of sensation.

  27. Posted 2012-05-14 at 23:17 | Permalink

    The G-Spot has always been a curiosity of mine as well. I have repeatedly asked former lover’s of mine to work, work, work and make me squirt but they just weren’t getting it. And to agree with what Gabriella said, I have had the uncomfortable need to pee during vaginal sex and oral sex, and would demand that he pull out due to my fear of urinating all over his precious mouth. Katrina, your video was very enlightening but unfortunately I believe the “squirtmaster” has reached a level of professional that my current boyfriend will need many many months of experience to obtain.

    But in regards to Ryan’s Q’s, I would have to agree and say that my O’s are both physical and emotional. My head works in fuzzy ways and there have been several dozen times where my body would shut down during sex because the wrong thought popped into my head and worst of all, is if we (women) are thinking too much during sex about miscellaneous bullshit, the O will take THAT much longer to come. So don’t sweat it & keep up the good work :)

  28. Ashley
    Posted 2012-05-15 at 09:22 | Permalink

    So this is my first time reading your blog and i happened to read this article and the same thing has happened to me! After reading article after article about squirting and g-spot orgasms my partner and i would try the come hither movement. Each attempt i tried to work through the peeing sensation and would eventually feel soo good! But i never felt a complete climax, the feeling sort of just decreased. I remember not being dissapointed even if it wasnt a full orgasm. It still felt amazing and different.

  29. Claudia
    Posted 2012-05-15 at 18:40 | Permalink

    Rachel, great post.

    Four years ago I started to experience something that looks like the so called g-spot orgasm…

    It first happened totally out of the blue, surprised me as I was not looking for it. I experience it now and then, whether I want and go for it, or not, as it does happen unadvertised too, depending on the position and if I am really relaxed and into sex, those days when orgasm doesn’t really matter…

    In my experience it first happened by accident and it does depend on the effort of the man, it has a lot to do with the penetration, not only it requires a longer time of penetration to keep the whole process going in a crescendo, like an opera aria, but it also demands the penetration in a certain angle, with the man on top and the woman slightly inclined toward the head, clear? Well, the woman is not really on horizontal plan… Anyway it was a whole new experience for me, different pleasure, totally different from the clit-orgasm which is amazing but can be quite exhausting sometimes. I guess I could have had it, what I imagine to be a g-spot orgasm earlier, much earlier if I was not so addicted to being on top during sex.

    Yes, I have played orgasm-safe-journey during sex my whole life, to took the clit-orgasm-path-during-penetration nearly every time. Most of the time I ended up on top, doing the job in an angle that was just perfect for me to have orgasms during penetration. We all have our favorite positions, right? On top was one of my favorites, the guaranteed way to clit-orgasm during penetration which is just amazing and was always enough happiness to me. However, addiction to certain positions limit the possibilities, specially if one is married etc, we get stuck, we shouldn’t but we do… but I believe masturbation limits things too. I never enjoyed masturbation, it was always OK, a last resource, when I was totally stressed and sex obsessed, but never as good as the real thing. Bad sex with real penis, lips etc… was always better than masturbation so I always went to real sex.

    How the supposed g-spot orgasm actually happened? I was already in my 40′s, with my 3rd husband, with whom I have an amazing sex life, after 10 years not based on quantity of sex anymore, I must stress. It happened after nearly three weeks without any sex, due to many non-sexy daily life facts: camping with kids, mother visiting and sleeping next door, flu all over the family etc… When we finally got into out bed in shape, one night, I was dieing to have my husband and that night started the beginning of a new thing in my life. He was on top, we were on our horrible old mattress, I was in a inclined angle, it started to feel totally different, growing, stronger, delicious, I moaned orgasm, I had to ask him to not move or change the position (we are married, we were used to move around those favorite positions, playing our perfect sex journey hitherto) when I started have vaginal orgasm like I had never experienced before…

    I can go for it if we lay on that same position, he does most of the work and I have a great pleasure. I don’t know how it would work on a masturbation scene, when you can’t have the penetration going and let yourself loose conscience totally… maybe if another person do the masturbation job… and I guess it is totally possible for lesbians etc… just my story…