I recently wrote a post for The Frisky about sex positivity– it was a sort of check-list– “Are you sex positive? Here are 8 ways to be sure!” Essentially these were lessons I’ve learned from hanging around the sex blogospehre and having conversations with you guys.
That said, I thought I would ask you– Should we even be using the term “sex positive”? Is sex positivity positively out-dated?
According to lots of sites (okay… well at least Wiki) the founding father of sex positivity is Wilhelm Reich: “His hypothesis was that some societies view sexual expression as essentially good and healthy, while other societies take an overall negative view of sexuality and seek to repress and control the sex drive.”
You can either be Sex-Positive and Good Society or Sex-Negative and Bad Society, apparently. No doubt that many cultures are oppressive when it comes to sexuality…but what about the idea that no one (esp us Westerners) should tell other cultures/societies what is okay and not okay for them? This is that whole thing (#8 on my thing Frisky list) about listening to people whose stories are too often suppressed.
I’ve also heard it argued that we should do away with “sex positive” because well, why is sex positive? Not everyone wants to have sex, some people are asexual or a variation of asexual (Demisexual! Grayasexual! A-romantic!) And sex isn’t always positive and healthy. (And true that, no?)
In the comments on the Frisky article, it was clear that “sex positive” was a useful shortcut to flesh out more ideas. But there were also commenters who disagreed:
“I disagree with #7. Having just read The Brain That Changes itself – there is a persuasive argument that fetishes of that sort are caused by 1. porn addiction, and 2. childhood trauma.” says commenter, Amit Amin.
My point was that among consenting adults….whatever goes. You are only responsible for your own emotional/mental health…if you are interested in self-development. Other than that no one should police consenting adults for something deemed “unhealthy”. Just like, I think, you can’t police cultures you aren’t a part of.
But what do you guys think? Do we still need “sex positive”?